Dust

Listen, to the hesitation of the dawn

Listen, to the desperation of the gone

You

are nothing but an unnoticeable dust

are nothing but an uncontrollable lust

Your silence is pure perfection

Your existence is gore pollution

Now

cry with your ears closed

die with your overdosed

Because gurD is your religious heaven

.

白 · 树 #4

4#

7月 10日

我到底是谁？

“德杰， 德杰！”

当我还在想着我是谁时，一位中年男子突然出现在我面前。

“德杰， 你应该很好奇， 害怕和不知所措吧？” 中年男子以犹如同情的语音说着。

“。。对。。。 我。。。 ” 我简直说不出什么话来。

“不要怕， 我问过医生了，你只是因为头部受伤， 而暂时失去了记忆。”

“失。。失去记忆？。。。 头部受伤？。。” 我不敢相信。

他继续说道：“对啊， 是一场车祸， 你已经昏迷好几天了呢。”

“哦。。 对了。。你。。 你是谁？” 我问。

“你不认识我？” 他好像很惊讶。

他继续：“唉。。 这也难怪的， 毕竟你失去了记忆。”

“不。。 不好意思。。” 我说。

“没关系啦” 接着他继续： “我是丰远, 你最要好的朋友。”

“哦。。 你好。。 丰远。。” 因为对他完全没印象， 我只能这样说。

“好啦， 不打扰你了， 我也刚好有些事， 好好休息吧德杰！”

说完，那个名叫丰远的家伙就走出了房间， 不对， 是病房。

原来， 我的名字是德杰。

坐在对面的探访者， 还是以奇怪的眼神看着我。。。。

#

白 · 树 #3

3#

7月 10日

“。。。”

“我。。 在哪里啊。。？”

迷迷糊糊的我，张开了眼睛，望着灰色的天花板。

充满好奇的我，　爬起了身子，　坐在床上，看着周围。。

我发现旁边躺着一位老伯，呼吸微薄； 对面，则躺着一位年轻人，　

而坐在他床旁的探访者，以奇怪的眼神看着我。

原来，房里都躺着病人。

我懂了， 这里是医院。

可是，为什么呢？　为什么我会在医院？　

我。。　我。。。

。。。。

。。　

我是谁？

＃

白 · 树 #2

#2

7月 5日

“起床了爸爸~ 不要赖床嘛~” 美玲吵着。

“。。。怎么了。。 宝贝。。？”　我逐渐清醒了。

“爸爸，　今天是星期日啊”　美玲说。

“。。然后呢？”我刚睡醒， 还有点蒙蒙的。

这时， 房门打开了， 进来的是位貌美的女性 -- 素珍， 也就是我老婆。

“德杰， 你忘了今天要带我们的宝贝女儿去动物园吗？”

“哦。。几乎忘了” 我这才想起。

“美玲乖， 爸爸这就去准备， 嘻嘻 ” 我急忙安慰嘟着嘴的美玲。

正在刷牙时，我不仅感叹起来， 一直以来， 去动物园都是我们一家四口的周末活动。。。

一家四口， 指的就是我， 素珍， 美玲， 还有的就是失踪了半年的母亲。。。

~~~~~~~

在门口， 一家三口准备出门。

“爸爸爸爸， 你看我们的苹果树！长得好高大强壮哦！” 美玲叫着。

“哈哈， 对啊，这棵树的年龄跟美玲一样大哦”　我笑着说。

“老婆你看，　那些果子长得好鲜红，　应该会很甜吧” 我微笑着对素珍说。

“哦。。　是。。　是。。。” 她说。

一如往常的， 每次一提到苹果树， 素珍就会有着奇怪的表情， 甚至说话会口吃。

我看着素珍， 什么都没说， 只是笑了笑。

#

白 · 树

#1

7月 13日

我，醒了。

头，还是很痛。

这里，什么也没有， 就只有四面白墙。。 纯白色。。白得有点恐怖。。

渐渐地， 我也开始明白我在这里的原因。

这时的我， 全都想起来了。

“。。我。。我。。 做错了吗？。。” 我以迷惑的心情自言自语。

突然， 门打开了， 进来的， 是一位身穿白衣， 面貌慈祥的老伯。

“你好，德杰。” 老伯说道。

“你。。你是谁？” 我好奇地问。

“我姓苏， 是你的主治医生，我是来帮你的。” 他笑着回答。

我看着他， 什么也没说。。 也不知看了他多久，不知道该说什么的我，只能低下了头。。

“你不需要感到不自在， 我只是想问你几个问题。” 他以一点严肃的语音说道。

“当然，我不会勉强你回答你不想回答的问题” 他笑着继续。

那慈祥的脸孔， 温和的态度， 使我渐渐失去对这间白色房间的恐惧。。。

苏医生拿起了三张照片， 一张是位女性， 一张是男性， 另一张则是个小女孩。

“你认得照片上的人吗？” 他问。

我看着照片里的人。。 渐渐地。。 我眼眶湿了。。掉下了眼泪。。。

“素珍。。 美玲。。。”我看着照片发呆。。

“从你的表情来看， 应该是认得吧。” 他说。

他继续：“那。。 你可以告诉我， “她们”在哪里吗？　”

“我。。　我　。。。”　我不知道该说什么。

终于， 我开了口。

“好吧， 既然我都想起了， 我也不想隐瞒了。”

＃

Deglutition

Perfume tastes like cervical fluid

I know nothing but worshiping greed

Crying when you vomit is ecstatic

Your moaning finger makes me sick

It is violet I adore

all I want is more

The touch of saw

Evokes starvation for gore

Have you ever swallowed glass fragments?

Have you ever felt a bleeding oesophagus?

Have you ever tasted an blue oral tumour?

Have you ever felt high in a temple?

Your ear is on the floor

would you like to lick it?

There's even worms on it

Doesn't that looks sick?

Farewell

See you in hell

Bug

Cadaver tastes like mint

deadly lying in the green

"Now" is the only thing

she will ever sing

Swallow that bug's ulcer

bug fluid tastes like silver

The saliva in your eyes

seduction that never dies

There's a caterpillar on your lung

now, scratch your tongue

You're screaming beautifully

now, swallow the white honey

Have you ever lick a butterfly?

Bi

You have to cry

so you can embrace laughter

You have to fall

so you deserve success

You have to get low

so you can match the high

You have to be sad

so you can feel happiness

You have to die

to understand life

Primeros Siete

All these shall be the end

as you kissed the last man

But the grotesque of fear

is not the only beauty here

Carve your mercy below savage

as you pray for your last age

Defects are not failure

but meaningless torture

Erectile minds soars beyond them

reaching the abyss of surrealism

Faceless sun awakens greed

consuming the devil's meat

Give me, your graceful tongue

Existence

Misery is the reason of my silence

Mystery, the blood of all existence

Purify my soul if I was deemed too sinful

Crucify my life if my existence is

nothing more than just a sin 

I draw a picture of your yesterday

it was both beautiful and disgusting

filled with lustful angels and breathing demons

Even with me 

sitting alone

My heart is blind

Save me from Purgatory

I will not cry

 

Love me 

with hate 

.

Lust

The gloomy feeling of excessive love

evokes a fallacy that nothing is above

Digesting the red eyes of this blue dove

requires nothing more but this latex glove

Taste the blue desires in Asmodeus' breath

asphyxiate yourself in the desert of death

where you will eventually drowned by thirst

this lechery will be your first yet your last

Sip your last drop of this sweet Vermouth

as it flows through your sadistic black tooth

you will then begin to realize the sinful truth

that all these is just a sad delusion of our youth

Feel the ultimate fetish orgasm between metal and flesh

.

Greed

The worship of insatiable

essence that evokes betrayal

the black thoughts that are fatal

with nothing but Nothing on the table

Soulful melody of the broken

resurrects the thirst of the fallen

empty hopes yet to be brutally taken

by the false yet undead angel named Mammon

Pure temptation flowing in your vein

Dove flying around the flower of pain

Endless desires shows that you are insane

so blue ants will gather around your sinful brain

Desires can be vitally fatal yet fatally vital

.

Wrath

This rage is nourishing the vengeance

and pleasuring the wrong indulgence

This madness is killing the silence

and reincarnates it into violence

I like the melody of your scream

now everything looks like a dream

This burning fire is consuming me

I can think of nothing to set me free

I trust no faith

go ahead and pray for your last breath

How many times should I experience death

before I can evoke His Wrath?

This is a tragedy of self-denial

.

Apple Tree

Apple tree of December

growing strongly with tender

those days I can still remember

voiceless pain and endless suffer

Silver bullet that disguised as seed

shamefully hidden below the skin of greed

wipe those tears and falsely claim it as deed

innocent breaths and dark sorrow are what you need

What lies under the beautiful ground

are the limbs that have never been found

What continuously nourishes this soulful tree

are the infinite bloods that put a shame on the sea

This, is too raw for the tree to grow backwards

.

Forgot

It's 11.47pm now

I woke up in this white room

filled with the scent of gloom

I feel empty

and lonely

I remember nothing about my past nor present

I was told that I am having amnesia

the only thing I can remember now is the feeling of my Coulrophobia

Should I stay?

but why?

Should I pray?

but to whom?

I want this to be my last breath

in this room, nothing is left

but then I begin to question myself

What is the meaning of my death, if my life is made up of nothing?

.

Here

Welcome

This is the place

where the sky is below us

hell above us

Here

we live happily with Rabbits that never die

and the pink monkeys with only one eye

This is a place

where live in peace is a sin

war is the world we live in

Here

Honey is the holy water

holding all of us together

This is the place

where Uroboros exists

the symbol of The End and The Beginning

and the emptiness of the never-ending

Aren't you fascinated by the bugs crawling under your skin?

Aren't you mesmerized by the dying worms screaming for green?

Yes

Welcome to Utopia

.